yearning as a crutch

May 18, 2026

It’s been a year.

I had a “Beautiful Stranger” moment during my trip to Japan.

We saw each other first outside a chapel.

He and his friends smiled and waved at me and my friends, I did the same.

I saw a glint in his eyes, something bright, something true.

An hour or so later we encounter each other again.

At a scenic spot, cinematic really.

This time, I was alone and he was still with this friends.

He recognized me, I recognized him.

We saw each other and smiled :)

From the bench he was sitting in, he shouted “かわいい!!”

I giggled internally, “He called me cute!!!”

I smiled back and bowed in appreciation and flattery.

I stayed outside the shops for a few more minutes because me and my friends had split up, my E-Sim fucking scammed me!

I continued getting a signal, tried calling a couple of times until I heard his voice again in broken English,

“What is your name?”

I froze.

I wasn’t able to muster up the courage to reply so I pretended I didn’t hear him.

“What?” I called out back.

But he just shrugged and laughed it off.

My friends found me.

That was the last time I ever saw his charming smile.

I sometimes get asked, “Do you have any regrets in life?”

My go-to response is, “No, I’m way too young for that shit.”

Admittedly I still hold the same belief.

But if I genuinely, truly, opened up about my regrets in life, I’d only have one.

And that’s not answering his question.

Not asking for his contact.

Hell, I didn’t even get his name!

That’s my only regret in life right now. Respectfully.

Oh what a hopeless romantic I’m growing up to be!

Regret is never a good feeling but important to keep life well-balanced.

At least for me. That’s why I keep that certain regret buried deep in my heart.

He could’ve walked up to me, we could’ve talked.

I could’ve just said my name. He could’ve said his.

But it wasn’t meant to be.

In the back of my mind, even if I’ve had crushes (like, one) I still remembered him.

Like what Laufey sang,

“My beautiful stranger, will have to remain a stranger until I see him again.”

So I’m writing this as a remembrance of his smile, his laughter from a distance, him.

Maybe in another life, my beautiful stranger.